Three Bedroom Three Bath
by monocledog
Summary: Natalie goes house hunting with the help of an old college roommate


**Hi, thanks for clicking to read. This is 3/4 Fig backstory because we never got a flashback from her and 1/4 Fig and Joe. Got inspired to write this from watching season 7 and though Joe and Fig's house looked bomb as hell. Another source of inspiration was from the comment section on the AvClub's review of the finale for this show. Someone commented "****It was just such a great beat for that story for Fig to have a clear logical idea what she wants before coming face to face with what her heart will choose." and it inspired me to do this. So thank you user Hiemoth, I give them credit. This is also my first fic in many years so please be kind.**

* * *

_She's crazy_.

That's what she thought when Sherry, her sorority sister and roommate, called a meeting to tell the entire house that she's getting married. It wasn't just the fact she was only twenty and had been dating the guy for only three months, but the most jarring bit was choosing to marry someone who's going to a community college.

...

There were already many reasons they shouldn't be together, her and the other girls made a list one night when she wasn't home:

\- She met him after he had just left a Pearl Jam concert (he has bad taste)

\- He works part time at a Storky's (it's a step up from McDonalds)

\- His idea of dates consists of watching him eat shit at the skatepark and smoking weed in his busted 1986 Toyota Corolla (he keeps insisting it's a race car, it isn't)

\- His dad is a truck driver and mom is a waitress (his family's poor)

\- And the list goes on…

...

But the most offensive reason was he goes to a community college! What's he planning to do with a two year degree? Work up his way to become manager and make three dollars more than minimum wage? How could she settle for someone like that? The sorority her and Sherry joined were full of girls who wanted to be someone. Someone who marries an Ivy League boy with rich parents. Someone who can be a trophy wife and a stay at home mom. Someone who can have an affair with the gardener or pool boy while her husband is at work having an affair with his secretary. Someone who can get day drunk and show up at school to pick up the kids smelling like perfume that's been hastily sprayed on to mask the smell of the daiquiris.

As fun as that life sounds Natalie didn't want just that, she had actual dreams and aspirations. While her housemates looked at the boys at the frat parties as a comfortable future, she saw them as potential business partners as well. She had high expectations for what she wanted in a man. They had to be presentable, ambitious, well educated, came from a good background, and most importantly, not afraid of her.

The truth was, she didn't date many people when she was younger. Most of the men she met hated how she was smarter than them. They were intimidated by the fact that she wanted to actually work and make something of herself. She didn't have time for them and would get more motivated every time one of them had something snarky to say about her wanting to use her degree when she graduates.

.

Even her father was like one of them. "Just get married to someone who doesn't hit you and you'll be fine. Why would you waste time with school anyway? You're a girl, you don't need that. All you need to do is keep the weight off, push a few babies out, and you're set for life. Let the men do the hard work. If you're not happy that's your problem.", as he said to her many times in her childhood. A nice sentiment, but hardly true as evidenced by her mother's disdain, anger, and resentment at his very existence.

She didn't want to turn into her mother. She didn't want to be stuck at home with a man she can't divorce because they've grown dependent on each other. She didn't want to end up letting all her potential go to waste. She didn't want to have one son join the army and die at the Gulf while the other had to drop out of high school because he got a girl pregnant. Although, her younger brother is doing okay for himself. Both of them still talk semi regularly and she's been spending the holidays with his family since the whole Jason thing. The point is, she doesn't want to end up as a nobody and have her father be right so of course she's gonna work for what she wants. That and she's a Scorpio. No one can out spite and out bitch a Scorpio.

...

"Are you insane?", Nat asked Sherry, in their room, after she had announced to everyone she's planning on getting married in the summer before classes starts again and they're all invited.

"I know what it looks like, but trust me I know what I'm doing. Dave and I love each other and we just want to be together forever",Sherry replied with a grin and doe eyes.

"You've only been together for three months. What are you going to do about school, the sorority, money, where will you two live, what would your parents think?"

"We're gonna figure all that out together and I don't care what my parents think. I'm an adult now, I can make my own decisions."

"But Dave is your first boyfriend. How are you not sure this isn't just some honeymoon phase shit?", she asked Sherry with her voice slowly increasing. She wants to talk her out of it so she doesn't make this mistake.

"I just know okay? When you know you know. Maybe one day you'll find out what I mean when you finally meet a guy that has all your impossible standards", Sherry joked, "Besides, isn't it more romantic when the one is the first person you've ever been with?"

Nat let out an exasperated sigh.

"Natalie, please just understand. I know this is kind of going against what this sorority is about, but how realistic is that gonna be anyway? Not every girl here is gonna get married to some rich kid with millionaire parents", Sherry pleaded.

Nat just looked at her defeated. She knows she can't change Sherry's mind. She's a stubborn person, but very down to earth compared to most of the girls in this house.

"I know you don't like this, but can you at least be happy for me and come to my wedding?" Sherry asked as if she was a little child begging her mom to buy candy at the grocery store.

"Fine", Nat replied in surrender, "Where are you two getting married anyway?"

"Vegas!"

_Jesus fucking Christ_

_..._

Jesus fucking Christ indeed when Nat sees her jumping and waving as she drives up to the sidewalk. It's been a good twenty something years since the day she announced she was getting married and they hadn't really been in contact ever since. After she got married, Sherry quit the sorority and moved in with Dave in a studio somewhere in the city. She still continued with school because Nat would see her in the classes they shared, but they never got to talk because Sherry had to work part time to pay rent and survive.

So imagine how odd it is to reconnect over Facebook and learn that Sherry's a real estate agent who's still married to Dave. Not only are they still married, but they got two kids, a house in the suburbs, and a corgi. Dave cleaned himself up too. At some point, he transferred to a four year college and graduated with a degree in child development. He's now a vice principal at an elementary school. Nat couldn't believe it, as she stares at the woman running up to her car, that she was able to make this life for herself.

Compared to herself, Sherry is living the dream. A husband who still loves her and two teenagers who still want to hang out with as evidenced through the pictures she puts online. While Nat is still technically married to her gay politician husband and living with her secret boyfriend. A secret to most people, but not to Jason. He knows and doesn't really care because "Hey at least we should both be happy and with the people we love" as he said and she tried not to cringe when the words came out of his mouth.

And now here they were. Nat had messaged Sherry online to see if she could help her find a house for her and Joe. She didn't mind Joe's place, but there's too much history there for her to feel truly at home. She messaged Sherry saying she's looking for a house in a nice neighborhood. Something that's two bedroom, two bathroom, a large living room, separate dining and kitchen area, a garage, a spacey backyard, pool is a plus too. She left Joe out of the details though. Sherry didn't need to know about that. For all Sherry knows she's just helping Nat look for a home that's away from home. Somewhere her and Jason can leave the political life behind and and pretend to be normal for a bit. That's all Sherry knew.

She came through. The house that's in front of them is a 2450 square feet, two story place in a gated neighborhood. Three bedrooms and three bathrooms. The master bedroom has a walk-in closet and the bathroom has a separate shower and tub. There's a wine cellar in the basement and a mini theater room. A small hot tub and a pool in the backyard with clear cut grass. A garage that could fit two cars. The pictures Sherry sent her of the house were promising. Nat would love for Sherry to give her a tour if she could survive Sherry's bone crushing bear hug that she's currently receiving.

.

"Sherry. Sherry-", Nat choked out.

"Oh God, I'm sorry!" Sherry chuckled as she let Nat go, "Oh my God, Nat it's been so long and still you look so good. How've you been? What's it like being married to a politician? Who's the most famous person you've met so far? Did you meet the Obamas?"

Nat was getting overwhelmed by Sherry's questions that were flying at her 100 mph. She had just gotten off work and she didn't have the energy to answer all these questions that she's going to give vague answers to anyway.

"Sherry, I know it's been a long time and I know you miss me and I know how much we have to catch up on, but I just got off work and I had to drive 45 minutes here and I'm pretty tired. So can we just look at the house and find another time to talk about all this?", Nat asked nicely.

"Of course! I'm so sorry, it's just been so long, but come on let's go inside! I can't wait for you to see the house, you'll love it!," Sherry said while pulling Natalie by the arm into the house.

...

The living room is bigger and better than how it looked in the pictures. The floor is hardwood and there are steps that went up to a small dining area. The wall facing the backyard is one giant sliding glass door. As Sherry continued to talk about the house, the biggest thing nagging inside Natalie's head was the price. How are her and Joe going to afford this house? Her salary is fine, but Joe is still unemployed. He's been working on his certificate to teach from a local college and tuition there had exceeded their expectations. They were depending on how much Joe's current place is worth and seeing if it can be more than a drop in the bucket.

When she messaged Sherry about buying a house she also asked her about pricing a "friend's" house. She replied immediately telling her to send the address, details, and a few pictures. She almost sounded ecstatic to do it. As Sherry finished giving a tour of the kitchen, Nat thinks that this is the perfect time to ask before they get any further into the house.

"Um Sherry, I don't want to interrupt, but I was just thinking about my friend's house and I was wondering if you got a price for it yet. I wanted to ask before I forget", Nat asked awkwardly. In truth, she was a little nervous. She knows Sherry isn't dumb and can read people easily. Another reason why she was Natalie's favorite sorority sister.

"No, that's no problem. Just lemme get that file out", Sherry said as she set her briefcase on the kitchen island and pulled out some papers.

"Okay, so your friend's place. Judging from the pictures, the neighborhood, and what you told me, I'd say it would be worth $70,000 to $75,000. If he renovates and remodels, it can be bumped up to $88,000 to $97,000", Sherry told her in a business-y matter of fact tone.

"And how much would it cost to do all that?"

"Well, he's lucky because his house is relatively small and he's been able to keep it in pretty good condition after all these years. So I'd say it would cost about $10,000-$15,000."

Nat's eyes widened a little before she caught herself and went back to normal. It cost that much to fix up his place and it still won't be enough to cover half the price of the house she's currently standing in.

"You wanna check out the upstairs now?", Sherry asked enthusiastically.

"Sure", Nat replied trying not to sound defeated.

"How do you feel about this place so far?"

"It's exactly what I asked for, thank you so much. It's closer to work and I can definitely see myself living here. A-And of course the people in this neighborhood is important too. Jason can get to know the locals here and see what they need and how he can help them" Natalie added as to not draw any suspicion.

"This neighborhood? Are you sure? This isn't the district Jason represents. Some democrat lady represents this place. Your husband's district is actually two miles from here."

.

Natalie stopped dead on her tracks. She didn't think about that when she was looking at houses. She slipped up and now she has to think quickly to recover. Her mind is drawing a blank and there's a dead silence between them. Suddenly, Sherry drops her smile and looks at Natalie dead in the eyes.

"Natalie, does buying this house have anything to do your friend?", Sherry questioned.

Natalie felt like she got caught and is being interrogated by the police. She needs to think and think fast, but her brain isn't working.

_Think you stupid ass brain. Come up with anything. Just talk! The quieter you are the more shit she'll figure out!_

_._

Sherry's face then suddenly beamed back up. She chuckled and put her palms up, "I'm kidding! I'm only messing around. I'm sorry for doing that to you, that was pretty messed up of me to assume that."

Nat's mouth dropped slightly open and she blinked at her a few times.

Sherry continued, "I only said that because you messaged me so out of nowhere about buying a house and how you're helping a friend sell his place. And when I looked up his address his name came up, Joe something, and I saw that it was your coworker from that prison you used to work at. So I thought wouldn't it be funny if you two were actually together and you were secretly buying a house together behind your husband's back."

.

..

...

_Fuck this bitch._

_..._

_.._

_._

Natalie picked up her jaw. She could do one of two things right now: Laugh along and call Sherry crazy or tell her the truth and see how she would react. Was there even a point to keep this up? Sherry will find out eventually if she does buy this house. If she told Sherry the truth she could turn the table on her and reclaim some sort of control over the conversation. It's been twenty something years since she's talked to Sherry. Is she still the same girl she could trust? What would Sherry do with that info? Can Nat find some way to threaten her with this knowledge?

.

..

…

_Screw it_

_..._

_.._

_._

"Yeah, that's pretty much all true", she hit back with a shit eating grin, "Except the coworker part. I was technically his boss."

Sherry's smiling face froze and about five seconds later, "Oh. Well alright then."

There was a pause before Sherry found her next words, "You know what? It doesn't matter, it's none of my business. You're not the only one you know?"

"What do you mean? Are you fucking someone on the side too?", Natalie inquired.

"No! Not me!", Sherry laughed loudly, "I'm just saying, almost all the girls in the sorority are also hiding something like that from their husbands too. Either that or they're divorced. Almost nobody, in that giant house we lived in, is happy. I still talk to some of them and they sound so miserable all the time. Their husbands never come home, parents are dead, kids don't want anything to do with them, secretly in the closet. The list goes on. So...I don't care. You should live the life that makes you happy. I won't tell anyone, I promise. Besides, you're married to a politician. That really fucking sucks."

There was a sincerity in Sherry's voice that told Natalie she could trust her words. It was that same voice and inflection she had when they both stayed up until sunrise shit talking the other girls in the house.

Natalie then gave her an unguarded smile and said, "Thanks. Really, I mean it. And I'm pretty happy right now. With my former employee."

They both let out a small chuckle at that statement. Right on cue, Nat's phone made the alert for a text message. She pulled her phone out and saw it was two texts from Joe. It read:

.

Hey babe! Hope the house hunting is going fine. Just wanted to send you this address to a house my bandmate's cousin flipped a few months back. Can you ask your friend to look it up? Tell me what you think when you get back

.

The text concluded with some heart emojis and the second message was an address to a house.

"Is that your former employee asking what time you'll be back because dinner's getting cold", Sherry teased.

"Haha," Nat mocked,"Do you mind checking this house for me?"

Natalie showed her the address and Sherry pulled out her iPad to look up the house. It was a $120,000 house. About the same size as Joe's house. Three bedrooms, although one of them is actually a small office. Two and a half bathrooms, two upstairs and the half is downstairs. Living room and kitchen are connected with a sliding screen door that leads to a small garden. They both perused the information for about ten minutes until Sherry spoke up.

"This house is actually being sold by my coworker. I can get you in touch with him and we can wrap this up so you can get home for dinner?"

"What makes you think I don't want this house?"

Sherry gave her an all knowing grin, "When we were going through the pictures of the house you had this look in your eye that I hadn't seen in a long time. You have that look whenever you see something that you actually want. Your eyes start to soften and you try to stop a smile"

Natalie grew silent and Sherry continued.

"I know it's been a long time since we've seen each other, but you haven't changed that much. The way you always have your guard up when talking to people. Rambling on to hide things. And how you always come up with a list of standards and requirements for what you want, only to choose what your heart wants when you come face to face with it. I can see that your heart wants the place Joe messaged you, even though your brain's telling you to get this place. And you're gonna end up choosing your heart, like you always do."

...

Natalie kept thinking about what Sherry said on her drive back. She wanted to be pissed that someone, besides Joe, knew her so well. But it's Sherry and she could never really be angry with her. Throughout the two years she roomed with her, she never actually got mad her. She was always too sweet and fun to bitch to. Plus she's too tired to be angry. She was only in that house for thirty minutes, but it felt more like hours. She just wanted to lie down on the couch and watch tv.

Joe opened the front door, before she could even get her keys out, and gave her a quick welcome home kiss.

"I heard you pull up to the driveway. How'd it go?"

She put her things down and sat down on the couch. "It was fine."

Joe sat down next to her and asked, "And how about the place I showed you?"

She shrugged and turned on the tv.

"Look I know it's a lot smaller than the place you chose, but I think the other house is just a smaller version of the one you wanted,'' she looked at him indifferently as he rambled on,"It doesn't have the master bedroom, the walk-in closet, and the pool you wanted, but it does have the industrial fridge and kitchen island."

She wasn't really paying attention to him, she's still thinking about what Sherry told her. Not just what she said to her at the end of the day, but everything she's said to her up to this point.

...

_You always come up with a list of standards and requirements for what you want, only to choose what your heart wants when you come face to face with it_

If past her found out present her is living with Joe, past her would've beat the shit out of present her. Past her would've loved everything about Jason. Compared to him, Joe was a 180.

Jason graduated from Dartmouth Law School and immediately went to work for his family's law firm. By the time he was thirty, Jason had started his own firm and won some pretty high profile corporate cases. They met through a friend who had set them up and he took her to dinner at a fancy hotel in the city. She was immediately impressed by his background and how he accepted that she was smarter than him. A year later he proposed to her and it took her some time to respond. He was the perfect gentleman in every way, but there was something about him that was nagging at her. Sometimes, she felt like he looked at her like she was a business investment and he kept insisting he can't have sex before marriage because of his faith. He tried to persuade her by telling her how he has big dreams for the future and he needs her to help make them come true. She didn't fully believe him, he hadn't even told her he loved her yet. However, she was already in her late thirties and everyone she knew was already married or remarried, so she put her grievances aside and said yes.

Meanwhile, Joe owns five shirts and three pairs of jeans and think it's perfectly fine to wear different variations of them until they start to fall apart. When they first met it was her first day as assistant warden at camp and he was a senior guard. Her first impression of him was that he was a loser who peaked in high school and probably watches old video tapes of his old high school sports games in order to feel alive. She caught him checking her out and when she glared at him he looked away with no subtly. To her, he was sad and pathetic, someone who will die alone with nothing remarkable to leave behind. She remembered how this one time at lunch he was eating a burger and, as he bit into it, the sauce fell out from the bottom and landed all over his guard uniform. He looked down and shrugged it off as if it was just another mishap in his life. He radiated sadness and defeat.

...

_When you know you know_

It took seven weeks for her to know Joe was the one. That's shorter than the time it took for Sherry to know Dave was the one and she's a little embarrassed about it. She wondered how long it took for Joe to know she was the one for him. Probably a week or two because he was such a hopeless romantic, it made her want to die sometimes. But she knew when she found his note that he snuck into her jacket before the event.

Jason had let her know two days prior that he needed her to attend an event with him and how important it was. He needed her to be his arm candy while he schmoozed with lobbyists and businessmen, promising he won't take away their guns and increase their taxes as long as he sees a big fat check in his doorstep the next day. This was the last one, that's what she told herself. She couldn't go to these events anymore. It sucked before she knew Jason is gay and it sucks even more now that she's with Joe. This event will be the last one and she's gonna tell Jason when they leave. She's going to stand and feign interest for ten more minutes before she heads to the open bar, it's the only thing stopping her from committing arson. She put her hands in her pocket and felt a neatly folded piece of paper. Excusing herself, she walked into the restroom and locked the door shut before taking it out. It was from Joe.

_Dearest Madame Figueroa,_

_How are you this beautiful evening? From where I'm sitting, the cold and dreary clouds have shrouded the skies and there is not one star to be seen. The freezing winds and icy air has made writing to you impossible, this might be my last letter as I don't think I will survive this winter. The only thing keeping me alive is the thought of you returning to my arms. I hope this letter finds you well and brings you comfort in the face of your horrid husband and his atrocious friends. I know these are trying times as you are challenged to lower yourself to the level of a worm so you can live the facade of a happy life. I will now stop writing like this because it's hard and I'm not smart enough to keep this up. But seriously Nat, I know you hate these things and I don't know how you can keep doing it. I just want you to know I think it's amazing that you keep this up no matter how crushing it is. That's one of the things I love about you. You keep going on when things are shit and you don't let that slow you down. I know you're better than everyone in that room and I'm pretty sure you can physically beat the shit out of all of them. I'll come pick you up so you don't have to leave with Jason. Meet me in the parking lot at 9:30. Your chariot awaits._

_ Love, Joe _

She looked at her phone and it read 9:22. She quickly left the restroom and nearly sprinted outside, but not before sending a text to Jason telling him she's going to leave early. It was freezing outside and darkness made it hard to distinguish Joe's car. She didn't need to look anymore when she heard the honk of his car and she sped walked to its direction. Joe was leaning on his car door waiting for her. When she finally made her way to him, he gave her a tight yet gentle hug.

"I was getting scared you didn't see my letter."

"Lucky for you I caught it last minute. Your handwriting is awful by the way", she joked.

"Did you read the first part in a British accent?"

"I did. What was up with that anyway?"

He shrugged and said, "Just wanted to entertain you a little so you don't end up offing yourself in there."

She laughed, "Well, it worked and if I have to stand near that place for another minute I'm going to drive your car through the building, so let's get the hell out of here."

Joe walked to the other side of his car, opened the door, and bowed for her to sit down. She smiled and followed suit. He got into his seat, turned to her, and said in an awful British accent, "Where shall we go now my lady? Shall we explore the nighttime streets or would you like to head home so we can find shelter in each others arms against this relentless winter cold?"

"I don't care, take me anywhere just please stop talking like that, you're embarrassing me", Natalie said in between giggles.

"As you wish, my love,''Joe retorted without giving up the accent. He drove out of the parking lot, but not before taking one of her hands and giving it kiss. He held her hand all the way home and she couldn't stop staring at their hands clasped together, not even hiding the smile on her face. That was when she knew.

...

And now here she is, at Joe's house watching him talk.

"-and you can put all your clothes, jackets, fancy dresses, heels, and purses in the office. That you could be your walk-in closet. As for the pool, we can drive to the beach. Road trips are fun and you can be in charge of the music-"

"Joe", Natalie interrupted,"I will think about it. Now shut up so I can watch tv."

His face lit up, he probably knew they were going to buy the house he chose. He had a glint in his eyes that knew, a look Natalie learned to both hate and love. She couldn't believe how much of a pushover she was becoming. So he gave her a big kiss on her cheek and silenced himself so she could watch tv.


End file.
